Concerns over the suspicious behavior of a campus squirrel have led to the formation of Wash U’s newest student group, “TSIPS” (That Squirrel Is Planning Something). In an exclusive interview, club president Michael Kraus revealed that “We don’t know what exactly this squirrel is up to, but we have some theories. What we…

Clayton, MO: WUnderground, Washington University’s premier satirical outlet, published an article about itself in an attempt to break the fourth wall. It has 373 total words and appears on the second page of the first WUnderground issue of the semester. The article currently being read is the first instance of an article that…

A newly released study confirms long-held theories that everybody has had more than enough of your bullshit, Laura. Researchers can now confidently back the hypothesis that we shouldn’t always have to pregame at your place “for the ambiance.” A survey conducted of a random sample of undergraduate females reports that not only do…

1. Exfoliate Prior to tanning, exfoliating with a loofah or scrubber helps to get rid of the top layer of dead skin. This allows your tan to develop on the fresh new skin that was underneath, lengthening the duration of your tan! The following link will provide the steps you need to create…

Investigations into Mystery Inc. concluded on Monday morning, with prosecutors leveling charges against several of the firm’s employees for trespassing and felony assault. The vigilante organization, founded by Fred Jones Jr., first generated public scrutiny after hospitalizing area theater director Michael Davensport with a series of improvised “Scooby trap” devices. Davensport, known to…