Student Went Home For Spring Break Because He Wanted To, Definitely Not Because His Friends Ditched Him

Freshman Chase Carter spent spring break at his parents’ house in Greenwich, Connecticut, despite allegedly receiving “multiple” invitations from “friends” to join them in exotic locales such as Cancun, Mexico, and Branson, Missouri. He claims that he wanted to relax and hang out with his friends from high school, whom he referred to as his “OG bro squad.”

“Yeah, I have like, a bunch of friends who were asking me to go places with them,” said Carter, who followed WUnderground reporters around campus until they agreed to “interview” him. “I totally could have gone with them, but I just wanted a more low-key week, you know?”

He stressed that, despite the fact that they had raised him lovingly for nineteen years, he avoided his parents while staying in his childhood home, explaining that hanging out with them would kill the “chill frat boy vibe” that he has been carefully cultivating since he began pledging SAE earlier this semester.

Additionally, Carter wants to clarify that he smoked “a fuck ton of weed and shit” with his friends and that he definitely didn’t just sit around in his room, playing League of Legends alone and masturbating to amateur pornography. However, viewers of his Snapchat stories were unable to substantiate this claim, as Carter was unusually silent on the social app for the duration of break.