Last Kid at Karate Still Waiting for Stepdad

Last Kid at Karate Still Waiting for Stepdad

Alternately gazing out at the parking lot and admiring his newly-acquired yellow belt, area eight-year-old Kevin O’Brien is the last kid from his Tiger Schulman Karate class waiting to be picked up, according to reports. “Yeah, my stepdad should be on his on his way,” reassured O’Brien. “Dennis is usually late, but it’s…
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Top 10 Helicopters

Top 10 Helicopters

10. This one Tiger stripes? Sick.   9. This guy: Shit looks fast as fuck.   8. This freak of nature: Is this still even a helicopter? Couldn’t tell you, but it’s certified dope.   7. This: OH FUCK THIS THING LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING BUG THAT'S METAL AS HELL   6. This…
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Ursas Fireside Poker night cancelled for 2016 presidential debates

Ursas Fireside Poker night cancelled for 2016 presidential debates

In a move that has already drawn criticism from the student body, SU has decided to cancel next fall’s Ursa’s Fireside Poker Night in due to conflicts with the upcoming presidential debate. The event, lauded as the highlight of approximately twelve freshmen’s semesters this year, is unfortunately at the mercy of increased allocation…
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New Philanthropy Event “Relay for Your Life” Raises Concerns

New Philanthropy Event “Relay for Your Life” Raises Concerns

Relay for Your Life, a new philanthropy event planned for the upcoming school year, has been riddled with concerns since its inception. Through Relay for Your Life bears many similarities to the already-existing Relay for Life, the new event differs in that those participants who walk the shortest distance must literally forfeit their…
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