Editors’ note: the following excerpt was taken from a notebook unearthed in an Umrath study lounge. The WUnderground Archival Department has identified this artifact as a personal diary that once belonged to a freshman in the Olin School of Business. Dear Diary, Today I was in Bauer Hall doing work for Management 100…

An undisclosed source close to the Illuminati recently admitted to trouble recruiting interns for the organization’s 2018 summer program. In fact, the source reports, qualified candidates have yet to submit applications. The Illuminati Summer Internship Intensive promises valuable insights into the Secret World Control industry as well as opportunities to cultivate crucial skill…

Valentine’s Day Special: Best On-Campus Dates Don’t have wheels but still want to make this Valentine’s Day unforgettable? Here are the best ways to spend the 14th with your special someone right here on campus! Student Health Services Want to show your S.O. what a considerate lover you are? Take them with you…

In a move that brought a collective sigh of relief to the student body, Student Health Services has announced that its practitioners will now begin using WebMD as a diagnostic tool. The announcement, which came amidst a rampant influenza outbreak and complaints that students are often severely misdiagnosed, has been met with overwhelming…