Issue 12.1 – WUnderground

28

Sep

WUnderground Reviews The Fantastic Four

By Jim “The Trendsetter” Benson If you had told me that fateful Thursday morning what was in store for me later that night, I would slapped you so hard you would’ve seen stars. Sure I’d seen the trailers, who hadn’t? They played them before every gatdamn movie in the line up all…

Live-Action Role Play Club President Promises It’s Not a Weird Sex Thing

28

Sep

Live-Action Role Play Club President Promises It’s Not a Weird Sex Thing

For years, students on the 40 have been exposed to the bi-weekly rituals of the Belegarth Medieval Combat Society, which meets on the Koenig lawn every Thursday and Saturday to act out elaborate fantasies. This live-action role playing, or “LARPing,” generally consists of students dressing up in costumes and smacking their swords together…

28

Sep

President Obama Can’t Wait to Jerk Off

Though he assured the public that it won’t affect the quality of his work, President Obama admitted on Tuesday that it has been about five years since he last masturbated, and that he can’t wait to get out of the White House so he can “finally settle down for a nice long jerk…

28

Sep

Unpaid Intern Excited to Show off Office Perks

For someone who performs more than 80 hours per week of unpaid labor for a company that can afford to give its executives seven-figure salaries, Charlie Thomas sure is proud of his office perks, according to his friends and Instagram followers. The rising senior, who is just finishing up a summer internship with…

09

Sep

Joe Biden Considering Going On A Run

Sources close to Joe Biden tell WUnderground that the Vice President is considering going on a run after examining the existing landscape. Initially thought to be satisfied with the White House elliptical machine, Biden is turning heads in the establishment with this unexpected news. This would be Biden’s third run, his most recent…