Issue 15.5

11

Dec

Op-Ed: Donkey Kong Only Wears a Tie. You Seeing this Shit???

This is Donkey Kong.  You may know him from such titles as Super Smash Brothers, Hotel Mario, and Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast.  However, you probably do not know him as “that monkey who only wears a necktie, and nothing else.”   Yes, you heard that right.  “DK” wears neither shoes, nor pants, nor…

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11

Dec

Missouri Propositions Draw Youth Voters Out At An All-Time High

Clayton, MO – On November 6th 2018, Missouri’s youngest voters stormed the polls with record-breaking numbers. Among young voters, you may have heard the claim, “The 2018 midterm election will be the most important election of our lifetime,” but why? Our investigative reporters went out into the community to get to the bottom…

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11

Dec

6 Trendy Swimsuits for When Global Warming Renders Clothing Obsolete

      1. We’re nuts over this chic two-piece from Nu Swimwear! The bike-short bottoms flatter your thighs, while the top leaves plenty of skin exposed to the merciless, searing-hot sun that will beat down on the melted wreckage of our planet.             2. We can’t get enough…

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11

Dec

Adam Levine Backs Out of Super Bowl Halftime Performance, Rest of Maroon 5 Will Still Perform

Earlier this week, it was reported that Rihanna had been offered the opportunity to headline this year’s Super Bowl halftime show but turned it down in support of Colin Kaepernick. We can now confirm reports that America’s favorite sellout, Adam Levine, has followed suit— not in solidarity of Kaepernick but due to ego-related…

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11

Dec

WUnderground’s Official Guide to Fraternity Rush

Pull up your Khakis, charge your Juul, and slip on that Patagonia vest, because you definitely don’t want to stand out and be yourself during this sausage fest! The ladies had a hellish four days of recruitment and now it’s your turn to partake in the honorable and essential two weeks of your…

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