admin – Page 23 – WUnderground

21

Feb

Can We Guess Which Frat Cut You?

No bid? No sweat, WUnderground has got you covered. We can tell you exactly where and why you got cut this rush season.

Canada Geese Migration Cut Short To Keep Privileged Fucks Like You Warm

21

Feb

Canada Geese Migration Cut Short To Keep Privileged Fucks Like You Warm

As the polar vortex struck the midwest, students struggled to find the perfect outerwear to combat the subzero temps. Just when all hope seemed lost, one species stepped in to save the day: the Canada goose. “Yeah, I had to leave Karen and the kids early to go back north,” said Billy, head…

21

Feb

Letter from the Editorial Staff

Dear StudLife, You win. We’re not gonna lie, it’s been a good run. If you’d told us fifteen years ago that Student Life, the real student newspaper, would deliberately confuse inclusive content with lack of editorial discretion, we would have laughed. That’s our job! Really, we’ve published on just about everything: giving fetuses…

StudLife Makes Medical Breakthrough, Publishes Actual Cancer as Written Text

11

Feb

StudLife Makes Medical Breakthrough, Publishes Actual Cancer as Written Text

Citing years of research and reportorial studies, Student Life announced a medical breakthrough late Monday: the successful synthesis of cancer cells into a series of op-eds. The op-eds, which discuss resolving polarization by feeding polarization, marked a pivotal moment in the reduction of tumor cells to written text. “It took nearly a decade…

Op-Ed: Donkey Kong Only Wears a Tie. You Seeing this Shit???

11

Dec

Op-Ed: Donkey Kong Only Wears a Tie. You Seeing this Shit???

This is Donkey Kong. You may know him from such titles as Super Smash Brothers, Hotel Mario, and Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast. However, you probably do not know him as “that monkey who only wears a necktie, and nothing else.” Yes, you heard that right. “DK” wears neither shoes, nor pants, nor…