We at WUnderground understand how difficult it can be for new students to navigate the many Greek institutions at WashU. Luckily the 10 groups with houses are the only ones that matter, but even among them keeping track of all those thetas and zetas can be tough. To help you out, here’s a quick guide to all you need to know about WashU Greek life.
Alpha Epsilon Pi (Colloquially Ahh-Uuh-Pay) — This fraternity was founded in 1812 by Martin Van Buren, eighth president of the United States and inventor of the George Foreman grill. Today, they are known for their low income tax and their excellent saltwater fishtank. Knock three times on the back door and say “pineapple” to gain access to even the most crowded parties.
Zeta Beta Tau (Zeta-Beta) — The Zeta Beta Tau house actually used to be on campus until Wrighton moved every building except for theirs a few hundred feet to the left last summer as a goof. If you’re trying to get on their good side, the Zeta-Beta brothers love nothing more than having elaborate fruit baskets left on their door-step. Make sure not to miss their famous chili cook off in the fall and Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest in the spring.
Phi Delta Theta (PTSD) — Contrary to popular belief, Phi Delta Theta is not technically a fraternity. They are actually defined by their charter as freemen on the land, who are legal persons only bound by common law, and who are not required to answer that question, officer.
Kappa Sigma (Sigma Kappa) — After being kicked off campus in the mid-90s for selling missile designs to the Soviets, Kappa Sigma recently returned to Wash U as part of a species reintroduction program. The process has been extremely successful, as the first pair of brothers was recently observed mating in the wild.
Beta Theta Pi (Theta-Pi): At three-and-a-half stars, Beta Theta Pi has the highest customer satisfaction rating on Yelp of any fraternity. On campus, they are known for throwing parties every night but Sunday as that’s the Lord’s day. Theta-Pi also doesn’t really have a set “house” per se but is located wherever the frat’s shamans divine that the Esprit de Fraternité is strongest that month.
Sigma Chi (ΣΧ) — Sigma Chi a student-owned, student-operated company that has provided wash and fold laundry and dry cleaning service to the Washington University in St. Louis community for over 25 years. They are the only university-recognized laundry and dry cleaning service, and they have gone to great lengths to ensure high quality services and attentive customer care. They are located beneath Gregg, close to the clock tower.
Theta Xi (Theta the Eleventh) — While they are best known for their Gregorian chanting (the 1991 pledge class is featured in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail), the brothers of Theta XI pride themselves on their encyclopedic knowledge of every girl Vince hooked up with on Entourage. Stop them on campus and quiz them about it, they love that!
Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE, pronounced “say”) — Notable Sigma Alpha Epsilon alums include disgraced Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and famous internet cat Lil Bub. SAE is also responsible for getting Ursa’s shut down, so next time you’re hungry for a gyro and a milkshake at 1:30 in the morning and can’t do anything about it, you know who to thank.
Tau Kappa Epsilon (Kappa Kappa Gamma) — Tau Kappa Epsilon is still getting back on its feet from the Jello Cup incident of a few years back. For your safety, if you’re around a brother don’t bring up Jello, cups, incidents, or anything about the year 2011.
Sigma Nu (Sig-Nü) — There hasn’t been a Sigma Nu chapter at WashU for 20 years.
Alpha Delta Phi (pronunciation unknown) — Alpha Delta Phi is the nation’s most trusted mesothelioma law firm. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, just stop a brother on campus and ask for a mesothelioma fun fact to gain points for your greek organization.