Racist Uncle at Thanksgiving Dinner Just Not Getting Same Reactions He Used to Feed Off Of

Angry Racist Uncle
Angry Racist Uncle


        For Uncle Gilmore Cox, being racist at the Thanksgiving dinner table used to be much more fun. In the aftermath of Donald Trump’s election, comments which used to be met by his liberal family members with angry outbursts of disgust are now met only with despondence.

        “I told them that Black Lives Matter is in cahoots with ISIS to enslave all white people, but nobody angrily pointed a finger in my face and yelled at me that I was a bad person,” Cox said, visibly shaken. “They just lowered their heads and looked like they were about to cry. It was kind of sad.”  

        Uncle Cox, not one to give up easily, used every trick in his racist, sexist book. “I even called Hillary Clinton a slutty bitch,” he explained, visibly frustrated, “My teenage niece loves Shillary. Last year she threw her roasted potatoes at me, but this year she just stared ahead and didn’t respond.”

        Cox’s plight is not an isolated incident, however, but rather part of a broader post-election phenomenon sweeping the nation: as liberal cronies are becoming more depressed, racism is becoming much less fun.

        “I don’t even want to say racist things during Thanksgiving anymore if it doesn’t enrage people,” said Uncle Bobby Crawman, a colleague of Cox’s, “Racism is becoming too mainstream. I was racist before it was presidential.”