Grandparents Already Saving Seats for Graduation

Grandparents Already Saving Seats for Graduation

With three weeks still remaining before graduation, reports from Brookings Quad indicate that the first sets of grandparents have already arrived to save front-row seats for the ceremony. Their numbers vary as many come and go from the Quad to make frequent trips to the Holmes Lounge soup bar, but estimates put the…
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RA Agrees to Let Resident Keep Prefrosh as Pet

RA Agrees to Let Resident Keep Prefrosh as Pet

After hours of begging, freshman Alan Block finally got permission from his RA to keep his prefrosh as a pet, so long as he promises to feed him and walk him and love him forever and ever. “The little guy just showed up outside my door last week, and we just had to…
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Cum Trees Preventing Campus from Being Safe Space

Cum Trees Preventing Campus from Being Safe Space

The cum trees — or “jizz trees” as they are colloquially known — of Washington University have recently come under fire for infringing on the campus’s status as a safe space. Students have argued that the trees are olfactorily offensive and help promote white masculine ideals. “I don’t like being the person to…
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Student Life to Pretend It’s Only a Joke Once a Year

Student Life to Pretend It’s Only a Joke Once a Year

Student Life, the campus publication recently celebrated as “a good reminder of the importance of recycling,” is gearing up to publish its annual “funny issue” in celebration of April Fools’ Day. The issue, known as Student Libel, refers to the act of intentional defamation of someone’s character, which is apparently funny to some…
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