WUnderground – Page 3 – WashU's Premier (only) Satirical Newspaper Est. 2004

31

Oct

WashU Chokes: I Attended the WashU Sexual Choking Lecture So YOU Didn’t Have to!

On the chilly evening of September 30th, 2024 I attended a lecture in Graham Chapel about how to consensually sexually choke people. It was gratifying to be surrounded by so many unwed scholar champions passionate about bondage, discipline, sadism, and of course masochism. The energy was titillating among the students who were so…

31

Oct

Op-Ed: I Misinterpreted Outing Club

If you’re like me, you may have assumed that Outing Club’s activities consisted entirely of pitching tents on Mudd Field, occupying every single hammock station on campus, and occasionally hugging trees, but apparently they actually hold meetings. After failing to avoid eye contact as I trudged purposefully through the Activities Fair, I reluctantly…

Opinion Submission: Shut Down WUnderground: Satire Papers Deserve No Peace

31

Oct

Opinion Submission: Shut Down WUnderground: Satire Papers Deserve No Peace

Satire papers do exist on this campus. And they are a menace. I have conducted multiple interviews with an anonymous source (who is definitely not my friend) who went through the recruitment process for one such publication, WUnderground. And I am on a crusade to expose the inner-workings of this paper. My friend…

31

Oct

Please, Please, Please Stop!

Regardless of your side on the relevant StudLife op-ed debate, it’s clear that Sabrina Carpenter is that good at arousing feelings among college students. Last week, the WashU Department of Psychology tested just how aroused students can get: over three weeks, students in Psych 100 listened to songs from “Short n’ Sweet” while…

31

Oct

Is Your New Roommate A Ghost?

Ah, autumn. The metaphorical teenage years of the first semester of your freshman year. By now, you’ve probably settled into a good routine: figured out how to study for that class, talked to that guy you like, maybe even learned your limits with alcohol (don’t worry you definitely haven’t!). But as the spookiest…