Confederate Flag Really Tied Tinder Profile Together

Confederate Flag Really Tied Tinder Profile Together

Garth Fletcher was taking dating apps by storm; he was the most-swiped man his town had ever seen. But after changing his profile, nothing was the same. WUnderground spoke with local women about the man who had once driven them crazy. Bailey Banks, on Garth’s flagless profile: I’ve seen him before, that much…
Read More
Habif Health Center to Replace Therapy with Prescribed Mood Rings

Habif Health Center to Replace Therapy with Prescribed Mood Rings

Citing a shortage of trained psychologists and psychiatrists, Student Health Services has announced they will now prescribe Mood Rings for students in place of therapy. This revolutionary new technology should reduce the need for psychological care, according to SHS.   “I think this new method will simplify a lot of the paperwork for me.…
Read More
John Delaney Starting to Think He Might Not Win This Thing

John Delaney Starting to Think He Might Not Win This Thing

It is now being reported that presidential hopeful John Delaney has started to think that he just might not win this thing. Sources close to the unremarkable moderate candidate have noticed a recent dip in his unwarranted confidence. “Honestly, we’re surprised that it took him so long,” said Alexander “Xan” Fishman, Delaney’s campaign…
Read More
WashU Implements New 2-Factor Authentication System

WashU Implements New 2-Factor Authentication System

In a joint statement made on Sunday, WashU Information Technology Services and WUPD announced that students will now be required to use WashU 2FA (two-factor authentication) when accessing WUSTL websites and buildings. In addition to swiping their plastics—WashUID, not Amex—students must scan their Canada goose emblem against a biometric scanner equipped with NASA…
Read More