WUnderground WashU's Premier (and only) satirical newspaper!

WashU’s environmental friendliness has always been a source of pride for the administration and student body. Over the past few years the school removed every trash can from campus, forbade all students and alums from ever purchasing SUVs, and stopped selling bottled water. In recognition of these exceptional steps, the ...

In an effort to ease veterans back into the workforce, a new local eatery called “SubMarines” is exclusively hiring former soldiers who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To smooth their transition, owner Tex “Sarge” Denver tries to find common ground between their experiences in the field of war and ...

Sniffling hopelessly over the stream of tears that drenched the remains of her taco salad, freshman Emily Weitzman finally became the last member of the Class of 2019 to abandon her hopeful image of Washington University. The soggy, lukewarm appropriation of Mexican food was the last straw, according to reports, ...

Facing criticism over reports that he’s been training his golden retriever to attack students who receive need-based financial aid, Chancellor Wrighton held a press conference this week to clarify his position on the University’s economic issues. A source within the Wrighton Administration revealed that the move was made in response ...

Last weekend’s Fall WILD saw remarkable improvements in safety, with record few students suffering crocodile attack related injuries. The numbers are 30% lower than the previous record, leading SPB president Leo Park to declare this the “safest WILD ever.”   “We’re really proud of what we accomplished this year safety-wise,” ...