Jerry Sandusky Named Top Athletic Director Candidate

Reports recently surfaced that former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky is one of the top choices in Washington University’s search for a new athletic director. The announcement comes in the wake of the departure of Justin X. Carroll, who was indicted on federal child pornography charges in January.

In a press release, Chancellor Wrighton claimed, “We are pleased to announce Mr. Sandusky’s candidacy. Jerry’s personal history perfectly fits the values Dean Carroll worked tirelessly to instill in the athletic department during his ten-month tenure as its director.”

The announcement was not without controversy. Some students are concerned by Sandusky’s availability – he was convicted of 45 counts of sexual abuse of young boys in 2012, and is serving a 60-year sentence in a maximum-security prison. Although the university claims Sandusky would be able to work remotely, student-athletes have expressed concerns that Sandusky’s inability to attend sporting events could negatively affect school spirit.

Among the other names listed were several Catholic priests, Bill Cosby, and MOPerv. The university hopes to fill the position by the start of the 2017-18 academic year, or just after the next forced retirement of one of its deans, whichever happens first.