Issue 19.1

Illiterate Student Society Launches New “guiawerhfewiuhfakjhf” Campaign

Illiterate Student Society Launches New “guiawerhfewiuhfakjhf” Campaign

WashU’s little-known illiteracy club launches into the public eye as they begin a new campus-wide media campaign. Students report sightings of flyers across campus, on bulletin boards, in bathroom stalls, and wedged between chicken and fries in a dining hall dish which wishes to remain anonymous.    But what is perhaps more interesting…
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Skandalaris Center Launches New “Sue the Poors” Service

Skandalaris Center Launches New “Sue the Poors” Service

Following the successes of programs like WashU Wash and WaterDrop’d, the Skandalaris Center has elected to open yet another business directed towards its prime clientele, the children of the one percent. This new small business, known as “Sue the Poors”, will provide an indispensable service to WashU students, by opening defamation suits against…
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People Watching

People Watching

“Eccentric” fails to capture the men of Tinder. They like dogs. They can quote The Office. They eat food. They are not like the rest of us, and therefore require a girl of a certain quality. A girl able to rise above the curse of her basic, homogeneous gender. Someone, dare I say,…
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Top 10 Reasons We’re Enemies

10. you laughed too hard at my self-deprecating joke 9. You asked me where Bolivia was in front of people 8. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat you said no 7. When i asked you if this dress made my ass look fat in 2011 you said…
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