Volume 18

Andrew D Martin: An Inside View on the Man

Andrew D. Martin. The enigma. Many wonder how he handles his prestigious responsibilities. Sources close to the Chancellor have informed WUnderground that he has been suffering from insomnia since taking up his administration last year. They also sent us the following transcript of his conversation with his psychiatrist. MARTIN: You ...

Read More »

WashU College Republicans Invade Afghanistan

This morning, the WashU College Republicans announced that they are commencing a full-out invasion of the State of Afghanistan. This news comes after the US recently pulled all troops out of Kabul in August, and after failing to do so in July, and after failing to do so in June, ...

Read More »

WashU’s Depression Olympics

As the weather begins to dip into a chilly Midwestern 45, seasonal depression is starting to consume WashU’s exhausted student body. In the long lines of Cherry Tree, students can be seen sipping watered down coffee murk in between “eye rests.” One student can be seen on the brink of ...

Read More »