Volume 18

01

Apr

Andrew D Martin: An Inside View on the Man

Andrew D. Martin. The enigma. Many wonder how he handles his prestigious responsibilities. Sources close to the Chancellor have informed WUnderground that he has been suffering from insomnia since taking up his administration last year. They also sent us the following transcript of his conversation with his psychiatrist. MARTIN: You see, doc, I’ve…

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05

Jan

BREAKING: Pyramid Promotions Exposed as a Front for the Illuminati

Before this information gets redacted by the higher authorities, WUnderground must report on a breaking discovery: Pyramid Promotions is scheming with the illuminati. Yes, this vague company that students blindly throw cash at is tied with the biggest WashU conspiracy to date. No one actually knows where the money that Pyramid collects each…

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05

Jan

WashU College Republicans Invade Afghanistan

This morning, the WashU College Republicans announced that they are commencing a full-out invasion of the State of Afghanistan. This news comes after the US recently pulled all troops out of Kabul in August, and after failing to do so in July, and after failing to do so in June, and after failing…

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05

Jan

WashU’s Depression Olympics

As the weather begins to dip into a chilly Midwestern 45, seasonal depression is starting to consume WashU’s exhausted student body. In the long lines of Cherry Tree, students can be seen sipping watered down coffee murk in between “eye rests.” One student can be seen on the brink of starvation after spending…

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05

Jan

Op-Ed: I Interned in NYC This Summer. Let Me Tell You About It

Sorry, not to interrupt whatever you were saying. I’m sure it was really interesting. But I interned in New York this summer. Let me tell you about it.  It was great and I learned a lot about myself and living in the world...actually, it was super depressing. I took pictures on the Brooklyn…

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