Volume 17

I am the Miracle of Life Baby, and This is My Story
29
Apr

I am the Miracle of Life Baby, and This is My Story

I am the “Miracle of Life” baby all grown up. Remember watching the projected image of my head emerging from the womb on your 6th grade classroom whiteboard? Who can forget? My transformation from a microscopic cell to a glistening, incarnadine bundle was a special moment in time. While many children were forced…
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“I’m Totally Gonna do Acid” says Student for Four Months
29
Apr

“I’m Totally Gonna do Acid” says Student for Four Months

With the canceling of on-campus events, in-person classes, and group activities, it’s easy to see why many WashU students are less than thrilled. However, some optimistic students are planning to make the most of this extra free time. One such student is sophomore Sal Aguiar. “Oh yeah, this is the perfect time to…
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Op-Ed: In Defense of Sally the Salad Robot
29
Apr

Op-Ed: In Defense of Sally the Salad Robot

Since their installation in the Bear’s Den, much invective has been hurled at the humble salad robots, none of it merited. The Salad Robot is objectively the best option for salad-serving. First, it provides options that human workers cannot. Try finding a minimum-wage worker willing to sing me a little ditty when they…
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Obvious Serf Announces that They Would Have Been a Lord in the Middle Ages
28
Apr

Obvious Serf Announces that They Would Have Been a Lord in the Middle Ages

In an astonishing lack of self-awareness, a man most onlookers would have pegged for a serf the instant they laid eyes on his hunched demeanor and glassy, vacant eyes, claimed that he would have been a lord in the Middle Ages.  Jonathan Morrington, a 38-year-old field laborer and Renaissance Faire enthusiast, astounded most…
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