Issue 15.7

18

Apr

Totally Cucked: St Louis Now Home to Only World’s Second Biggest Arch

This is a triumphant day: the U.S.A.’s “greatest” city, St. Louis, is now only home to the world’s second biggest arch. Because now those weak American jet-skiers can behold: Pyongyang, home to the world’s most titanic arch. As all the world can plainly see in the picture above, taken by the Supreme Leader…

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18

Apr

Group Loses Friend Marty Graw at Worst Possible Time

On Saturday, March 2, a group of WashU students were left frazzled after the Bud Light Grand Parade when their friend Marty Graw, junior, disappeared into the massive crowd, allegedly to buy some cold ones for the boys. “At first I thought he was just showing people one of his magic acts,” said…

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17

Apr

Michael Cohen Fucking Owned that Goy

He may be going to jail for bank fraud and bypassing campaign laws, but Trump’s ex-personal attorney should be locked up for arson. On February 27, Michael Cohen completely incinerated Representative Mark Meadows (R-N.C.). Rep. Meadows, an outspoken supporter of President Trump’s policies, took a swing at Cohen’s claim that “President” Trump is…

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17

Apr

WUnderground’s Official Guide to Spring Break 2019

Stuck in St. Louis because your parents wouldn't pay for a week-long getaway to Cabo? No worries! Neither would ours! Here are some of our favorite last minute spring break plans: 1. Your Dad's Yacht He told you that you can use it as long as you stay off pills, and as far…

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17

Apr

Goddammit: The WP Kids Already Set Up a Hammock on New Sculpture

Oh, for fuck’s sake. The overpass sculpture hasn’t even been up that long and the Wilderness Project kids are already hammocking off it. There’s three people with pineapple t-shirts sharing their WOOFing experiences while they swing on an art piece nowhere near Mudd Field. Wait - what’s that sound? Oh, come on; one…

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