Romney Creates Job
"Thanks, man." "You betcha."
Despite accusations of being aloof and uncaring, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney demonstrated the sincerity of his campaign promises by creating a job for a disadvantaged American late Tuesday night.
Although failing to win the election, the former Massachusetts governor still managed to follow through on one of his greatest promises. After months of tireless campaigning, during which he selflessly travelled the country advocating for better job creation, Romney managed to secure employment for Barack Obama, a middle aged father of two who resides in the Washington D.C. area.
"Let me tell you, a lot of people have been critical of Governor Romney" said Obama. "But the fact that I stand here today employed is a direct consequence of his policies."
Obama also thanked Romney for working to ensure that come January, he and his family will not be evicted from the publicly-owned home in which they have resided for the past four years.