After a Month of Crushing Defeats, Trump Gathers Cabinet to Beat Them at “Trump The Game”

It’s been a rough month for President Trump. With his refugee ban blocked by federal judges and Obamacare intact after a disastrous episode in Congress, Trump has few successes and many broken campaign promises under his belt. However, Trump’s L-train seems to be in reverse after President Trump crushed his cabinet when they play “Trump The Game” this past weekend.

“Yeah, I can’t really say it was that fun,” said Ben Carson, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. “[Trump] just called us lightweights and losers for 5 hours, all while laughing maniacally and taking our fake game money. If he was ever losing he’d just make up rules because ‘it was his game and he could do what he wanted’.”

Originally released in 1989, confusing rules and extremely poor sales led to Trump’s game being discontinued just one year after its release. According to Parker Brothers executive Peter Thrope, the game didn’t connect with players because playing Trump the Game “leaves you exhausted and feeling like you don’t want to play again.” Coincidentally, 65% of Americans today say the same thing about Trump the President.

In the coming months, Trump is looking to mix up his schedule to allow more time to crush his cabinet members in Trump The Game. According to Kellyanne Conway, Trump plans on working “very, very hard on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday while dedicating the rest of the week to golf and playing Trump The Game.” As of presstime, Trump was seen boarding a plane for Mar-a-Lago while carrying his game and an expression of gleeful anticipation.